Chronic illness
One of my specialty counseling areas is working with those that have a chronic illness, and the family members of those with a chronic illness, including those seeking counseling in Flower Mound and Southlake, TX. Full transparency, I have a chronic illness of my own, so it is an area that is near and dear to my heart. With the advancements in medical research, more and more people are living with a chronic illness, 45% of the population to be exact. What you may not know is the impact that it has on you and your family. It is literally a life changer. It doesn’t have to be a bad life changer. It will become a part of your story, but it doesn’t have to be your entire story. Having a chronic illness of my own has taught me a great deal about myself. Here are a few things that I have learned along the way.
Grieve
Again, here I am talking about grief, but it so often applies! Grieve. Grieve the change that this will have on your life. It may mean grieving the life you thought you would have. Depending on the chronic illness, this may have significant changes on your life. As a caretaker, you may have to grieve the pain free/stress free life you thought your family member might have. It’s ok to grieve. Just don’t get stuck in the grief. Go through it, but don’t stay in it.
Self-Care
Take care of yourself. Living with or caring for someone with a chronic illness can take a lot out of you physically, which may be an adjustment for you. Take time to recharge. If you haven’t heard of the spoon theory, take time to read about it, here. It’s a great analogy about the importance of self-care, saying no, and how your life changes with a diagnosis. It doesn’t mean that life gets worse, it just means that life gets different! As a caretaker, remember to do this for yourself as well. Remember that you are no help to others if you aren’t in tip top shape yourself.
Focus on what you can control
As you start to learn about how your body is changing, it can be a weird feeling to no longer have control over certain parts of your body, or as a caretaker to not be able to help your loved one. It can be a helpless feeling. Focus on what you can control. I could go on and on about what you can control, but a big thing that you do have control over is your thoughts. Remember, depression is past thinking, and anxiety is future thinking. Try to remain mindful, which is literally present thinking. Focus on the here and now. Ground yourself to your present surroundings, not focusing on what could go wrong, or what the future may look like. The scary future that you have planned out in your head may never happen, so focus on what is going on at the present moment.
Getting a diagnosis and living with a chronic illness is a big change, but again, it doesn’t have to define you. Remember that you have a chronic illness, but you are not the chronic illness. You are so much more than that. Don’t’ let it define you. It’s a part of you, but it doesn’t have to be the biggest part. You’re in charge of the story that you write about your life. You decide how big of a piece it has in your book.
Reach out to one of our therapists at Pineapple Counseling in Flower Mound, TX or Southlake, TX today!
